YOGA

Yoga I believe, is actually an acronym:

        Y-Yikes  O-Ouch  G-Groan  A-Again???!!!

Yoga, what can I say about Yoga?  Well I can tell you this, the  word itself is very deceiving.  When most people think of Yoga they image stretching, breathing, relaxing.  Which is  part of it,  but what I found out today is that it should also include; SWEATING!  I actually had sweat dripping off my nose.  It was really nothing like I envisioned it, I actually thought it was going to be a breeze, but you work your core.  I have always had a weak core, even when I was thinner I was muscle weak.  When you are doing these stretches you work muscles that you forgot were there.  Plus you hold each stretch for several minutes, my legs were shaking.  Of course most of the men and women that were there had been doing it for a while and were very flexible.  I kind of looked like a 747 trying to land on a pond, huge and awkward.  But I struggled through it and in the end actually enjoyed it, in fact if I can walk tomorrow I just might go again.  Balance plays a key part in yoga too, you not only need physical balance, but inner balance.  And believe me, having both is tricky.  I know that yoga also includes meditation, which in my case was prayer.  How awesome it was to find myself in a place where I was so focused that praying felt very intimate. 
The question that I have is, what is the right balance when it comes to exercise?  I've read that you need cardio at least three days a week, but you also need weights to lose weight.  Plus I do my risqué water aerobics class and now yoga.  I want to do the most to maximize my weight lose, yet I am 48 and overweight so I don't want to over do it. After all in the last few months, I've had problems with my hip, I hurt my back, I pulled a chest muscle, I strained my side muscles and rib cage.  So ya see that balance thing I was talking about it not my strong suit. 
Anyone with any suggestions on how to achieve that balance I would be grateful . 
I also want to take a moment and congratulate my daughter, she did get the GA position  and will be working at the school while also working towards her masters at Lindenwood.   Jessica you are an amazing young woman and such a blessing.  I love you very much and just couldn't be prouder of you. 

Love ya

Hey, anyone got a back scratcher!!!

Sooooo today was torture!  I reallllly didn't want to go work out.  I just have those days sometimes, days where I would do anything other than work out.  I would even rather clean house than workout!!  But I made myself get in the car and start driving towards Cape.  Of course I didn't make it, I decided that I needed to tan. So I went in talked to the girl there, tanned and wasted as much time as I could.  Then I thought,"hey Luana you should go by Barnes and Noble and check out their audio books."  Of course I did counter back, "Luana you really need to workout today.  Besides look at yourself, you can't go into a store...you look like a slob."  Hey looks aren't everything!  But then the phone rang and it was my sister.  There she was huffing and puffing, working out like a dog, and she just had open heart surgery in January!   So, she inspired me to head to the gym and workout.  Naturally after I was done I was so glad that I went, my sister saved the day.  So this whole started me thinking, dangerous I know, but we all need some inspiration sometimes.  We all need some girl time too. I don't know about anybody else, but I love my husband with all my heart, yet  there are some needs he just can't satisfy, sorry babe.  That need is so strong sometimes and other times it's just an annoyance, nevertheless it's there.  It's like an  itch you can't reach, oddly enough  only another woman can reach. Don't worry I'm not getting kinky,   I think that itch is just suppressed so far down that we don't even recognize it.  But before we were all married happily, we had girl friends.  Friends that we went out with, went to the mall or a movie with, heck,  they even went to the bathroom with us.  They knew our deepest secrets and we knew theirs, just in case if you know what I mean, and life was good!  There was know one like our besties...until we met HIM.  He came into our lives and everything changed.  Suddenly, he went everywhere with me, we went out on dates, to the movies, yes even the mall, although he didn't watch me pee...yet.  He now knew my deepest secrets and desires and I knew his, life was great!  We still kept in touch with our friends, but we both just wanted to spend every waking moment together, he was  even mushy and romantic...aahhhhhh those were the days! 
Then we got married and had kids, now don't get me wrong life is still great, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.  But he doesn't want to go out on dates or the movies anymore, and forget the mall!  Yet he still knows my deepest secrets and desires, and he does walk in on me peeing sometimes, so do the kids and pets for that matter.  But romantic encounters are few and far between.  So where are those besties?  Well if  you're lucky enough to have a sister as a bestie, then she'll always there, but the rest have moved on and started their own happy family.  It's just the nature of the beast, not bestie.  So what's my point?   I really kinda forgot...oh yea, no matter how busy our lives get, how broke we are or how exhausted we are, pick up a phone and call a friend.  LEAVE YOUR HOUSE AND FAMILY, let me repeat this one, LEAVE YOUR HOUSE AND FAMILY!  Just for an hour, heck even thirty minutes and reconnect with a friend.  We tend to lose ourselves in marriage and family,  but if we don't break away, for just a short time, we might just disappear.  Either that or we'll drive ourselves crazy look for a back scratcher! We as women  need other women around.  To listen to us, laugh with us, cry with us.  There are just somethings that only a woman would understand, there's that itch.  So to all my besties, thank you for listening, caring, and just being my friend.  Sister you always have and always will be my inspiration.  Thank you for encouraging me to go to the gym.   Also thanks for getting rid of that darn itch. 

Love ya

Shinning Star.

Today was rather interesting, of course along with interesting comes humiliation.  I guess I'll start at the beginning:
I woke up excited about the day, it was my  Water Aerobics Class today. I have been going about six weeks and have thoroughly  enjoyed it.  Although,  when I first checked into the class I was a little  apprehensive, you see I'm 48 years old... and the youngest in my class.  Now don't get me wrong, I love elderly people, in fact one day I plan on being one, but I wanted to make sure that to get  a good workout.  Which has honestly been the case, you can work hard or as little as you want.  When I first started I felt a little out of place,  even a little awkward.  I didn't know the movements that  our instructor would call  out and I even  had to be shown a move that I was doing wrong.  But after a couple classes I not only got the hang of it, but I became the star pupil.  Also the other people in the class, men and women, warmed up to the idea of having a youngster in the class.  I love the thought of someone thinking of me as a youngster!!   Now with that information you can see why I was excited, it was  my time to shine!  Well I was running a little late and of course we all know that whenever you run  late, anything that can happen, will happen, and that was the case with me today.  But I do finally make it and they had already started when I jumped in, but I easily caught up and everything settled down.  Now remember I told you that you can work as hard  as you want or as little, and when I go I try to work  hard.  So there I am working hard and just being a shinning example when the instructor said "Anyone who wants to get a good workout, follow Luana, she always works hard!"
Shine, shine, shine...even though I was a little embarrassed...shine, shine, shine.  The class is about 50 minutes so with about 10 minutes left we each picked a spot and kept  crossing back and forth the width of the pool.  Now if you have too many people in the class it can get tricky not running into each other.  Everything was going fine until  she had us flip on our backs and  paddle backwards.  Next thing I know as I turn my head to look back  two people are just about to have a head on collision with me!  So I figure I'll flip over and go underwater between them, thinking it would be easier for me to try and maneuver.  But as I go under and wiggle between Mary and John, guess what I hit with my hand!!!! Naturally John thought that was great and announced it to the whole class and EVERYONE laughed, except me.  I was so  embarrassed I just wanted to sink like the Titanic.  What made it even worse was  John wanted to keep swimming by me the rest of the class.  I guess that had probably been the most action he'd gotten in a long time. 
Will I return...of course.  Even though I have almost flashed a man and groped another, I  love my class.  I think having a younger person in there has brought some excitement to the class, even if it is the wrong kind of excitement. 

Love ya

My Nuts

You know the old saying "The nut doesn't fall far from the tree", well it is so true.  My nuts have both taken an interest in photography.  Zach has helped his dad out with various things such as, games, weddings etc..but he really hasn't had the opportunity yet to really figure out who he is or wants to be as photographer.  He will get his chance this summer and next school year when he is a photographer for the yearbook.  Jessica however has taken a basic photography class and has recently taken some pictures of her friends and even of there babies.  She really has an amazing eye for photography.  She showed me some of her pictures today and I was so excited for her,  she really captured a moment.  Isn't that what photography is really about, capturing those moments in time that make us take pause.  Our photography studio is our business and honestly we do love it, but for the most part it helps us pay our bills.  Recently Dave was driving home and he had to stop, because he saw something that for him, reminded him why he started taking pictures.  Even if you're not taking pictures for any other reason then it's our kids, or a family event, when we look back on those pictures years later...it makes us pause.  We realize how fast the kids have grown, or how skinny we were back then, we even remember the people we loved and have lost.  A picture is our history, a memory, a piece of time.  
With all of Jessica's enthusiasm for photography , it  has made me want to pick up my camera,  look through the lens, and find my moment.  I think part of my hesitation has been lack of confidence and fear.  What if I try it and I fail, what if nobody likes the pictures I take?  But then I also  realized that my pictures will be a reflection of who I am, and  if nobody likes them but me, that's ok.  After all you have to like yourself before anybody else is going to like you, and once you achieve that, it just doesn't matter what anybody else thinks. 
So I am making a vow to myself and anybody else that reads this...I will pick up my camera, look through the lens and find myself.  Even if nobody else likes them, they will be my piece of time and I know one day I will look back and pause. 

TGIF

Well it's Friday and I am sooo glad.  While most people love Friday because they have two days off from work, I'm excited because I get two days off working out.  I wish I could be one of those people who love working out,  but I have to be honest, at this time in my life...I really hate working out!  Yes, I'm glad that I did it after I'm done, but some days getting there is tough.  I know that I personally need some variety in my workouts, and I do my water aerobics class on Tuesday, which I do love.  But for the last couple weeks I was suppose to start a Yoga class on Thursday, but each week I've gone up to see Jessica.  Now I'm not complaining because getting to see my daughter is my favorite thing to do, but I really do need to start going next week. 
Speaking of Jessica, I did have a wonderful time with her.  She shared an amazing experience with me and to watch and listen to her talk about it is a thrill in it's self.  She is so excited about life and her future, which is how it should be.  Yet as both of my kids approach the age of independence I can't help but feel a little lost.  My roll for the last 22 years has been as their mom and even though I will always be their mom, my duties are changing.  I've slowly gone from caretaker to just being there when they need me.  I guess I'm kinda like their FOLLOWER, don't worry I won't get started on that again.  Yet that is what I do, I follow their facebook pages, twitters, blogs just waiting for a time when they need me.  I don't idolize them, but I am very grateful to God for giving me loanership of them.  He has worked miracles in each of their lives.  I don't want to get too mushy, I'm  just trying to figure out the next chapter of my life.  Part of that journey has been my weight.  If I can get to a healthy weight and get my husband to a healthy weight, then God willing we'll have a lot more chapters in our future.  Dave has always said that when we retire we can buy an RV so that we can travel around, of course when he says we he means me and my mother.  Which I would love to do some trips with my family, I'll just have to knock him out and  pack him in a suitcase to get him there.  Don't take it personal family, he would just rather stay home and golf. 
Well I've kind of rambled today and talked about several things, but sometimes that is just what life is like, a kaleidoscope of colors.   Sometimes one color is more dominant than others or sometimes they just all run into each other.  Either way it's all beautiful and  I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Love ya

To FOLLOW or not to FOLLOW

I've been thinking about the word "Followers", as in my blog has few FOLLOWERS.  The dictionary's definition is: 1. a person or thing that FOLLOWS.  2.  a person who FOLLOWS another in regard to his or her ideas or belief; disciple or adherent.  3.  a person who imitates, copies, or takes as a model or ideal.  4.  an attendant, servant, or retainer.

Of the four definitions listed, I think that the first one serves my idea of what FOLLOWING  a blog means.  I suppose that the others are relevant to some people, for instance FOLLOWERS of a religion or even a political party, (Don't worry I won't be discussing politics on my blog.)  that seems to fit nicely in with number two. 

Number three kind of reminds me of how our society FOLLOWS movie stars or professional athletes.  We watch what they do, what they wear, how they wear their hair, shoes, jewelery  etc... In fact we FOLLOW them to the point of idolizing them.  We must, we pay them ridiculous amounts of money just to entertain us. 

Now number four is pretty self explanatory; this is more like a job.  These attendants, servants, maids or whatever,  are paid to FOLLOW their employers and by FOLLOW I mean drive around, wait on, clean up after, etc. Example of their employers for instance can be  the movie stars and professional athletes that we pay ridiculous amounts of money to.  Hey here's a thought, maybe if we didn't pay  all that money to people that once we put them on that expensive pedestal, they treat us like second class citizens, we could have a little of that money for ourselves, maybe we could  even afford a FOLLOWER. 

Now I don't want you to think that I'm getting on my soap box, notice it's not the same as a pedestal, because  I'm not.  I am just trying to make a point...gee I kind of forgot my point.

Oh yea... now I remember, and  please know that this comes from the heart and that  I am not upset or disappointed in anyone. But do you think I could get some FOLLOWERS?!  Of course I mean definition number one of FOLLOWERS, not number three of  FOLLOWERS. Unless you want to idolize me,  But whatever...no pressure  I would just appreciate any FOLLOWERS that I get. 

After all that...remember you'll just have to FOLLOW your  heart.

Love ya

ADDICTION!!

I want to take a quick moment and talk about addiction.  I think that I have always had an addiction and probably always will, that is just my personality.  I also believe that most people have that same trait, it's just stronger in some people.  When I was younger there were all sorts of addictions, don't worry I won't go into them , but as of later years most of my focus has been on food.  Now let me tell you drugs will kill you, alcohol will kill you, even sex addiction will kill you.  So when I say I have a food addiction, most people just sympathize.  But I am here to tell you FOOD WILL KILL YOU!!  I should know I was almost a victim of food overdose.  I was rushed to the doctor, I was rushed to the gym, but in the end they all told me that the only one who could help me was...me.  Now as with all addictions, once an addict, always an addict, I struggle with food everyday.  I can't walk into a kitchen without the refrigerator taunting me.  Or the pantry mocking my choice to walk by without looking in. And hey ever watched TV commercials...Yummy!!!  I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night screaming "PLEASE SOMEONE, SUPERSIZE ME!!" Then I wake up and see that someone has already done that.  But I will continue to fight the good fight and choose a healthy lifestyle.  I know it seems like I was making fun of addictions, but I really wasn't,  it's all true, they all will kill you. There in really nothing funny about addiction.  Yet if I don't laugh about my addiction, then I guess I might cry about it.  Let's see...Laugh...or...Cry...?  If given a choice, I'll choose laughter.  For one because laughing at myself helps me have an optimistic outlook on my life and choices.  It helps me see more positive things about myself, rather than focus on the negative things, also laughter can work muscles...EASY WORKOUT!!!  Then secondly if I cry about it all then I end up not leaving my house, I just stay home and sulk.  I'm not working out, in fact I answer the calls from my frig and pantry.  Plus I end up choking on my  tears, which are extremely salty and...well talk about water retention!!! So ya see laughter is a win, win situation. 

Love ya all

Taking a moment to say Hey.

Hey, just want to write a few lines to say Hello.  I started my day out with a water aerobic class, which I highly recommend, and then stopped and tanned.  I know, I know...tanning is bad for me, but if I don't get just a little base, then when I do go out in the sun I burned like crazy.  Which I don't really like to go outside too much because I'm afraid of...BUGS!  Yes that's right I'm afraid of bugs, not all bugs but anything that flies, yes that includes birds.  Now I know that this is an irrational fear, but never the less it is my irrational fear.  Anyway  so you can see that if I didn't tan just a little, I would just be out of place in the summer.  Besides I always enjoyed the 20 minutes of peace and quiet.  It is truly a time that I can ignore my phone and just doze for that short time. Anyway I also wanted to share the fact that I am going to be starting a Yoga class, YEA!!!  I'm sure I will be out of place for the first couple times, but I am excited about trying it.  They say it will increase your core strength and that is exactly what I need.  

Well I guess it is time to say goodbye, but for those of you who follow me, like I have soooo many followers, and don't really know me I just want to stress that I am not some phobic, albino, fat chick, cause I'm not.  I'm a phobic, now tan, plump chick!  See you soon. 

Shopping???

Well I finally went shopping for my new lifestyle change, and it was harder than I thought.  First I had to drive for two hours just to get to the closet healthy grocery store, then I walked in with my list and froze.  I just didn't know what to buy.  Alot of the things on the list came from my book, but considering the fact that I don't really even cook, my husband does it, I just went blank. Where was the Ragu, the Hamburger Helper ( I mean the Tofu Helper), or the frozen lasagna!!  I must have walked around that store for 30 minutes before I put anything in my cart.  Finally I decided to ask for help and a couple employees took the time to help me out.  I still don't know if I have all the food I need to make healthy meals, but at least I can eat more than Taco Bell burritos.  I think the key to this diet becoming long term is the putting all the different things together in an appealing meal.  My husband has no idea what to do with everything I bought, so I guess I am on my own.  I will either figure it out or become a Taco Bell regular.  Wish me luck!!!

The Road to Nowhere.

Have you ever noticed that when you're going somewhere how excited you are.  And that getting there just seems to fly by,  and that because you're so excited about this journey the small things just don't bother you as much.   But then the ride home is a totally different story, it's slow, boring and everything seems to get on your nerves.  Well that is how my weight journey has been, gaining weight was so easy.  Eating just made me happy, nothing bothered me, just give me some Ben and Jerry's Phish Food Ice Cream and I was a happy camper.  But now the road to weight lose is one long , windy, hilly road.  Plus there are a million detours!!!  I swear  I will never reach my destination and even though I am making slow progress, at least it's progress.  I just want to get off this slow road and hit the highway, but unfortunately that is just not going to happen.  I lost 8lbs this month and you would think I would be jumping up and down for joy, but instead I was so disappointed. "Only 8 lbs?!  Are you sure? Maybe we should re-check it!  I think your scale weighs heavier than mine at home, you should get that checked."  I was so upset that I just wanted some comfort food, but that is what got me on this dark and lonely road, so I declined Ben and Jerry's offer.  Instead I will just pat myself on the back and  stay on course to make my way back home and if I'm lucky the detours will be few and far between. Now if I could just continue to ingnore those calls from Aunt Jemimah, she can be so pushy.   

I'm back!!!

Well, I know it's been forever since I sat down and journaled, but my life has gone a complete 360 degree change.  Not only have I been exercising regularly, but I have also made a huge lifestyle change.  I have decided to go Vegan! Now I know what you're thinking..."are you crazy!!!" but I did not just come by this decision easily, I put a lot of thought into it.  Also this decision was not motivated by weight lose, although that is a great benefit.  No I made the decision after watching the movie Food Inc., which I highly recommend to everyone.  It was then that I realized that ignorance is not bliss, it's just plain ignorant!  I have for so long gone with the theory that if I didn't know about it than it wouldn't hurt me.  But that movie opened my eyes to not only how the food industry has become nothing but a bunch of bullies, but to how easy it is for people to forget their compassion for animals.  It made me sad to think that we as human beings feel so superior to animals, including cows, pigs, chickens and cats and dogs.  The humane society is so over-crowded because people think it's just ok to drop off pets that either they tire of or they get sick and they don't want pay for medical bills.  Then to watch how cows, pigs and chickens are treated like an object not a living breathing beings.  Plus the drugs that are pumped into these animals to make bigger pieces of meat, remember we will in a society that everyone thinks bigger is better.  I just could no longer in good  conscience continue to support the people that run these slaughter houses.  I received a booklet from PETA that was about eating vegetarian and the stories in there made me cry.  I literally mean I cried through the entire booklet.  So here I am, embarking on a journey that I really know nothing about.  I read the book, The Kind Diet and loved it.  I encourage everyone to be informed about the food we eat.  It will change your life. 
Well wish me luck and I will keep everyone up on my progress.