Thank You

I would like to dedicate this blog to my sister-in-law.


Life has so many lessons to teach us everyday, it is literally, as if we get up and go to school every morning. It is up to us just how much we learn and keep with us. If you ask me what I learned in high school, I would really have to sit down and think about it, because it is truly life's lessons that teach us some of the most important things in our life. Then, on occasion, we meet someone that teaches us invaluable lessons. Lessons that not only stay with us, but also are passed down through the generations. My sister in law has also given me a gift of which I am eternally grateful. I am not talking about material possessions that with time fade away or break. I am talking about something priceless. She has taught me so much and given me so much that I feel an obligation to share it with all of you.

She has taught me how to be a better wife, to have a forgiving heart and not hold on to mistakes that our husbands may make, after all, they are only human. To treat him with the respect that he deserves, I expect it so I need to make sure I give it. She showed me that letting them have pride in who they are, their house, wife, kids and job only makes them better, kinder men. She showed me that brow beating only defeats them, makes them feel less than a man and less than human, and that with constant abuse comes the risk of pushing them into the arms of another woman. Of course, I do not now or ever will condone any kind of cheating. Yet I know that if a man cannot find love and companionship at home, he will look elsewhere. She taught me that whenever my husband and I have disagreements, we should discuss and work them out without our children present. That fighting in front of them only hurts and confuses them. Then as they get older, they will learn to use those arguments against us. Not to mention we need to be teaching our kids valuable life lessons, and marriage is one of them. There is no class on marriage; or the effects of a bad marriage on family. She has also taught me to fight fair, no name-calling or bring up past problems. She showed me that if you love your husband, you love his family. If you respect your husband, you respect his family. You do not have to like some of the things they do, but never put your husband in a position where he has to choose. Of course, that does not apply to abuse or physical threats, just your everyday in-laws. Another valuable lesson she taught me is even if I think everything is perfect in your marriage, if your husband asks you to go to counseling with him...GO! After all why wouldn't you go, unless of course you really don't care about your marriage. Just one more thing that I think note worthy is control. No one should control another person, not through threats, physical abuse or manipulation! She made me realize that I fell in love with him, so why would I want to change him. Why take away his hobbies, friends, family, self respect, pride. Why?

The lessons I have learned unfortunately have come at the expense of my brother. Everything mentioned, he has had done to him three fold. I would be lying to say that I am not angry, but then I know that she has taught me who and what NOT to be. She has also shown my kids what not to look for in a spouse. So again, thank you for all the "what not to do" marriage lessons, they have been invaluable.

I also mentioned that she gave me one of the most valuable gifts ever, a priceless gift. She gave me back my brother and my kids their uncle. Ever since he has been away from her, we are all seeing the brother and uncle that used to be; kind, funny, and generous. The only thing he has not gotten back yet is his pride, self-respect and self worth, but with the love from his family, I know he will be fine in time. I know that if nothing else good came from this marriage, it was his beautiful children. I hope that God willing, one day he will find someone who loves him just for him. Then his kids will see what a real marriage looks like, and finally find true happiness in his home.

Thank you.