Siblings by birth...friends by choice.

Brothers and sisters.  Such a complicated relationship.  Growing up it seems as if the fighting will never end, but then one day the person you have claimed to hate and despise, is your best friend.  I heard once that your siblings are the only people you will know you from birth to death, and it's true.  In a balanced world parents will not out live their children, so they may be with you at birth, but hopefully not death.  But your sister or brother are  there from the beginning to the end.  They know every sordid detail of your childhood, if fact they probably used some of it at one time or another, to blackmail you.  I have a brother and a sister so I have experience with  both ends of these relationships.

 A brother when your younger is just a source of constant irritation.  In my house you could tell which sport he was playing by whether he tackled, pinned or pretended to plow you down as he went for the final and game winning lay up.  Of course I also took great pleasure in showing him up during our many 50 yard dash races.  Plus I suppose it would be fair to say that there where times when I purposely tried to rattle his chains in one way or another.  But unfortunately there came the day that not only did he start winning those races, but rattling his chain became risky considering he became quite a bit taller than me.  I'll never forget the shock of knowing he was no longer my "little" brother.  Yet with time he became more than a brother, he became a friend.  Someone I trusted and loved very much, and even though he was younger than me, at times he seemed to be the older, wiser one.  He has been there for me when times were pretty bad, even seemed hopeless.  He held my hand and lead me to the other side of despair.  Yea, having a brother has been  one of the many joys in my life and I love him very much. 

I also have a sister.  She is nine years younger than me and let me tell you, when you are a pre-teen there is nothing you want less than to have to babysit or change diapers.  So I guess there was a little resentment there for a while.  I can honestly say that I was not a very good sister to her when she was younger, in fact I'm not sure if I have lived up to the "Big Sister" title yet.  It's funny because most of the time I was just mean to her, until my brother picked on her, then I came running to defender her.  She grew up alone most of the time, although my brother was there for her more than I.  I think he felt as if he needed to be big brother and father all in one.  I think for the most part he did a pretty good job.   As my sister and I grew up we became friends, no...best friends.  She actually plays the part of older sister more than I, giving me advice and listening to me when I just need to be heard.  She recently had open heart surgery and I have never been so scared in all my life.  I just couldn't imagine my life without her and thankfully I won't have to.  I got the opportunity afterwards to take care of her, to do the things I wished I'd done when she was younger.  But through it all,  she still is the one who taught me lessons of  life.  I learned of strength, courage and determination, she was all those things and more.  She is my best friend and I love her very much.

We are all older now and when we all get together we can laugh at the things of the past.  We laugh at good times, bad times and we even find some humor in the sad times.  Laughter is our way of loving and living some crazy times.  Both my brother and sister have brought so much into my life, I can't imagine a life without either of them.  Although we are brother and sister to one another, we are also sooo much more.  We are there for each other, we listen when needed and give advice when needed.  We love each others kids like our own and  take pride and joy in watching all our kids succeed in life. We pray for each other and our families and would be there in a heart beat if needed.  We are fiercely protective of each other and all our kids, so don't cross or hurt any of us. We still occasionally have little arguments now and then, but they last only briefly.   I  honestly don't know how people who are not in relationships with their sibling make it through life.  My brother and sister are my past, present and my future.  I am grateful that in those early years, we didn't mame or kill each other, because they are my best friends and I love my brother and my sister...my best friends of past, present and future.

Time After Time

Hey, it's been awhile since I last blogged, but a lot has gone on since then.  My daughter graduated college, my mom came for a visit and Jess and I are in Colorado for a heart walk with my mom and sister.  Crazy I know!  I want to share this dream I had with you, which incidentally I've noticed several people taking about this subject, what do you think that means?  In my dream God came to me, at the time I was younger, like 12.  He told me that He was going to give me 10 moments throughout my life that I could mark  and then before I died He would let me relive them. Now this seemed like an easy and exciting task to me, after all surely there would be 10 things in my life worth reliving, right?  So as I lived my life I marked different events in my life, careful not to waste them.  Naturally being young even the simplest events seen important, but I was still fairly picky.  As I got older I picked more sensible events such as my wedding day, the days my kids were born, I even marked the day my husband and I bought our first house.  The day that I used my last day I turned 40 years old, who knew there was life after 40!  But finally on my last days, the Lord appeared and told me it was time to revisit those special days.  At first it was rather fun watching back on the days I deemed the most important days of my first 40 years of life.  I laughed at my ignorance of a 12 year old, I smiled on my wedding day, and I cried as I watch both of my children brought into this world.  After it was over I was thankful for the gift the Lord had given me, yet afterwards  I relived some other memories in my mind that seemed equally  or even more important.  Things that at the time they didn't seem worth reliving, but you know what they say about hindsight.  Things like a day when your two year old  son falls asleep next to you,  and as you lay there, you  realize that  you  could watch him for hours.  Watching as his little  chest rises and falls, with the occasional dream smile, knowing that he is dreaming of some great adventure.  Or the day when your daughter, after watching The Little Mermaid seven times in a row, climbs on your laps and tells you she loves you and in going to marry her daddy and live with us forever.   When your younger  that may not be a day you would pick as  reliving, but when your older you know those are the moments that make life worth living.
That's the funny thing about time, your perspective changes as often as time changes.  I think the older we get the more little things become important to us.  Time is also very crafty,  have you noticed how when your younger time seems to go soooo slow, you can't wait for so much of your life to happen.  You can't wait to drive, you can't wait to turn 18, then 21.  You can't wait to get married and have kids.  Then we can't wait for our kids to crawl, take their first steps, start school.  But then somewhere along the line, time starts speeding up.  Suddenly you can't believe how old your kids are, how old you are.  Then their graduating high school, college, getting married, having their own kids.  All you want is to slow time down so that you can enjoy each and every moment.  Wishing you could really go back and relive all the important moments in your life.  Of course we know that  time stops for no one, and plays tricks on the young and the old. Of course when I woke up I thanked God for reminding me to appreciate the beautiful things in my life and to not take them for granted.  To always remember everyday is a day worth marking important, after all we make our own moments special, and should always be  grateful for God's gift of time.